If Only I Knew
| KATIE HALDANE
Let me share with you what’s burning on my heart this week, without structures, boundaries or filters. The unfiltered Katie.
This week God is burning in me the words; IF ONLY I KNEW! I keep waking at night, imagining the deep regret of getting to heaven and seeing God as He really is, all powerful, Wonderful Counsellor, Prince of Peace, Everlasting Father, Redeemer, so glorious that we can’t look upon His face. Imagine that moment, seeing His glory, seeing His power, seeing His majesty. Coming face to face with Jesus, His love, grace, His power, majesty, King of Kings and Lord of Lords and then the searing pain of regret… ‘If I only knew on earth what you were like I would have lived life in freedom, I would not have been scared or anxious, I would have had more faith to do the things you were calling me to do, I would have…’
For me right now God is burning in my heart to live life in the knowledge of who He is. Live like you know you will in heaven. I don’t want to state those words “If I only knew” I want to state the words “I knew you were like that!” It reminds me of my all-time favourite book in the Bible, Revelations. John, who walked with Jesus comes face to face with the resurrected Christ in his vision in Revelation 1:12-18. John falls down ‘at his feet as though dead’. Now what blows my mind is John was not falling down at the feet of Jesus because it was Jesus, he walked with Jesus on earth, he knew what Jesus looked like. He fell down at seeing Jesus as He was in heaven, He was glorious, hair white like wool, eyes like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, voice like a sound of rushing waters, holding stars in one hand and a sword coming out of His mouth. His face like the sun shining in all its brilliance. He had an encounter with knowing the power of Jesus, which is the core of the book of Revelations; John got a glimpse of Jesus as He was in heaven and it gave him the confidence to live in that power and knowledge.
Living on this earth can dull our perspective of Jesus, our circumstances, our trials, our humanity can dull how amazing, powerful and incredible we know Him to be. He becomes just a companion rather than the all powerful companion which He is. All authority on heaven and earth is with Him, the angels can’t stop praising Him! Our knowledge of Jesus and God should come from the Bible not from our circumstances, emotions or the opinions of others.
I remember praying one time and I clearly had become too familiar with God. I had forgotten who I was praying to, my prayer sounded like I was unsure if God had enough power to help me in my situation. God in His grace placed an answer on my heart, and in my infinite wisdom, doubt and fear I uttered the words “Are you sure that will work Lord?” I remember the answer I got, it was Father God, it was Dad thundering back at me, not in anger but in “don’t you forget who it is your talking too.” He repeated my feeble fear based word back to me, ‘AM I SURE!’ Immediately I remembered the story of Jesus in Mark 9:20-25 when the man with the possessed son came to Jesus and he says “If you can do anything..” and Jesus echoes back “If you can? Everything is possible for one who believes.”
In your intimacy with God never forget who you are praying too, He is the Creator of the heavens and earth, He is God almighty, He has the power to do above and beyond what you ask, think or imagine, don’t doubt His power or limit Him!
My motivation to you in this post is to help you to ‘live’ like you ‘know’ what we will know in heaven. Don’t wait till heaven to find out how amazing, powerful, all knowing He is. That is why I read the Bible on a daily basis, I don’t want the world to determine my knowledge of God, I want the Bible to show me who He is. Read the Bible and remind yourself of the one who parted the Red sea, who saved the Israelites, who gave them victory in battle, who sunk the walls of Jericho, who healed the sick, who raised the dead, who is seated in heavenly places.
The Holy Spirit, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. Live like you just had the vision of John in revelation, without fear or doubt of His majesty and power. Live in freedom, knowing and walking intimately with Him. Live like you will in heaven. I get so frustrated when people who are filled with the Holy Spirit forget that they are filled with the Holy Spirit. You are filled with God. The Holy Spirit is God, He is not the little brother or the lesser god. He is God and we are filled with the same power that raised Christ from the dead. Live like you will in heaven, live in victory, live in the knowledge of how awesome your God is. Don’t let the natural dull your view of God.
Live in victory here and now so you will never utter IF I ONLY KNEW – you will cry out “I KNEW YOU WERE LIKE THAT!”